the Sea-gull

Bugün,  amaçsızca Karaköy’e giderken vapurda, aklıma geldi bu şiir… Yolculuk boyunca da hepsini teker teker buldum aklımın köşelerinden.  Hah! İşte tam bu İngilizce “hatırlamak” kelimesi yerine kullanilan “recollect” in anlamına oturuyor. Neyse…

Hark to the whimper of the sea-gull
He weeps, because he is not an ea-gull
Suppose you were, you silly sea-gul
Could you tell it to your she-gull
Ogden Nash


Acaba Ogden Nash’ le nerede nasıl tanışmıştım… Hatirladim, bi kiz vardi Tü… neyse soylemiycem utandim…onun bi tane kitabini hacılamıştım kendim bizzat…Sonra da kıza “ben onu kaybettim yaw” demiştim… Olsun hiç pişman değilim, o kitap hala en çok sevdiğim kitabim… e.e. cummings’i, archibald macleish’i, theodor roethke’i başka başka… aa tabii ki ve bittabii ki stephen crane’i o kitaptan keşfettim.. ayrica calmami takip eden birkac hafta içinde kitaba super guzel bir de cilt yaptirmiştim…siz gencler bilmezsiniz, Akmar pajazı eskiden oyle yerlerin de olabildiği biryerdi…inanmazsınız, bir tane Chopin plağı bile almıştım ust kattaki küçük bir dükkandan.

Neyse, netçe itibariyle, bana ilk Amerikan’ca şiiri sevdiren Nash’dir… Kendisi Amerika’nin önemli askerlerinden birinin tornu. Hatta dedesine atfen Tenessee’de Nashville isimli bir şehir bile var.  Aslında kendisi hafif meşrep bir şair. Niyeyse? Neşeli şeyler yazınca niçin yeterince ciddiye alınamaz ki insan.  Bir kere topyekün cümle hayvanat bi elinden, pardon dilinden, geçmiş… Durun, aklıma bir tane daha şiiri geldi. Aslında en can alıcı şiirlerinden biri bence…

A Caution to Everybody
Consider the auk;
Becoming extinct because he forgot how to fly, and could only walk.
Consider man,
who may well become extinct
Because he forgot how to walk and learned how to fly before he thinked.


çok gözyaşartıcı gerçeklikte yahu…

“hız yapan gençlere seslenmiş şair” diyerek, şiirin de lezzetini iki paralik edip bi edebiyat dersi kıvamında son vereyim ben bari…

aa..şimdi farkettim ki, bu Türkçe bir post olmuş

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i know i am falling into the same trap as many x-bloggers once did…being over-enthusiastic, and posting everyday. well i am not that special or pretend to be that special to look for paths less trodden… i may fail and i really do not care… my cyber story may last prematurely or may die of boredom.   I think I know  my sole expectation  from this blog.  Baki wrote it for me some time ago:

What’s eternal in this dome, said tobe a graceful resonance…

you know what?

I think he does more, he pictures  “modesty”

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so here I start…

I think new year resolutions are inevitable, I for one, can not help but having more than few every year… and eventually you are witnessing one of them.

I frankly don’t know these posts will be always in English, or in Turkish. I think it will mostly depend on my mood or how strong the urge to convey my feelings will be, so that I inevitably seek the comfort of my own tongue.

Why have I started blogging? Because everybody seems to be doing it. Also I want this to work as a mnemonic… I picture “the thought” as a bubble rising up in a deep and clear water (No, actually you are lucky if the water is clean ! but i won’t change the way I wrote it). It appears out of nowhere, and rises and rises and expands and then it pops and dissapears. This very nook in the cyberspace seemed to me a good container to capture and keep some of those bubbles.

Pfff! I don’t know… Now, It seems not as easy as I imagined it will be; and it is only few minutes. (No! Actually I erased the last paragraph and rewrote it, so it is almost an hour by now !)  What on earth shall I find to mention here everyday? I should have had something in reserve for few days at least. Well, I do not.  So we’ll see where this unpreparedness lead me in the coming days.

Oh, wait a minute. I have. It is not really cheating ( is it?) if I repost  30 facts about me, that I wrote sometime ago. So here they are :

1. I am an artist trapped in a scientists body

2. It is me but no one to blame for it.

3. When I am deep in chemistry or due for an assingment etc., I desperately yearn for being a housewife and watching soap operas all day long.

4. I think I like playing piano, but I do not like it requiring so much practice.

5. I went to the same school for the till university,  and it did not do me much good.

6. I like housework.

7. I feel secure when there is a routine in my life.

8. I am most of the time scared of the life I guess, that’s why I got stuck in the academics.

9. Marry Poppins sings: In every job that must be done, there’s an element of fun. It is horrible thing to say, it should be other way round: In every thing that is fun, there is a reason to make it your job…

10. I eat a lot, I am a habitual eater…It is not a good thing.

11. I like antidepressants. They are miracles of the last decades.

12. I was/will be working with colloids. Humics in specific. Humics for me are very much like those women who never love you back, no matter how much you love them. I think I like humics, yes they won’t love me back, I know…

13. Bach inspires me, and I feel like solving algebraic equations.

14. I acquire music much more than I can listen to.  Such a conundrum of the modern times

15. I like reading books that taste like discovery channel lately.

16. I like architecture. I like Art Nouveau as an art form. Mucha is my Chopin in plastic arts and vice versa.

17. The sensation of your fingers, when you hear a tune that you can play on the piano, is quite nice.

18. I keep collecting cross-stitch patterns for my retirement. I love ornamental patterns, islamic patterns, celtic patterns.

19. I constantly miss my mother. But my father has become sadly almost too obscure for me.

20. I can not help loving Istanbul. I like the misery linked to her too.

21. I never know how important I am for people I call my friends. Keeping friendships clean, fresh and tidy is a difficult thing, and I know that I sometimes fail in doing so.

22. I can be mean, unthoughtful and pain in the .ss !

23. Sometimes I realize that I am not as smart and intuitive as I imagine myself to be. It is a difficult thing to assess how I often I should remind myself that.

24. I love coffee. I like tea. I love everything related to coffee and tea, especially porcelain.

25. I think I only once was in love and the consequences were not good for me.

26. Colors, and their need to be in coordination in everything  makes my life difficult sometimes, most of time, or sometimes… Oh I don’t know !

27. I prefer winters to summers. I like buildings with high ceilings, I like waking up to a snowy morning.

28. I only could read the back cover summary of Goncharov’s Oblomov.  It seemed too easy to become Oblomov… I was disturbed by it.

29. If I were to be a character in a novel, I would prefer to be one from Dostoevsky’s novels

30. By no means. I am a man of present. A big part of me  lives in the Romantic era and Belle Epoque.

This list will change in the future but I don’t think it will exceed 30, on contrary I am expecting it to shrink !

That’s all for today. Not too bad for the first attempt, I guess…

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